


Cargo Pilot

by Stickienotes



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: @stickienotes, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags? What tags?, depressing shit, depression.uhhh, free form, hahaha im so so sorry i did this, i didnt edit this, i wote it at 2 am, im so sorry for writing this, just a short thing, lance in an emotional state fuels my flames, lance needs protection, maybe? - Freeform, my hand slipped, on a happy note! check out nmy insta cause im a shit, only like 500 words :/, sorry again..., steven king ref, why? cause angst is my drug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 00:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11002479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stickienotes/pseuds/Stickienotes
Summary: when something breaks it doesn't just become fixed, its broken. sometimes it just needs to be just a cargo pilot, and there is no changing  that.HAHAHAH i'm so so sorry. This is kinda out of character for lance? its like what he shows us is just a facade and this is how he feels on the inside? idk, this is mostly my own thoughts and projections portrayed in lances view, its just PURE ANGST DRUG.





	Cargo Pilot

"People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk" - Steven King 

 

I don't believe love exists. And I'm not saying that to be angsty, and a total edge lord. I truly don't. That's just my opinion. I've never felt love. Yes, I've felt very strong happiness towards others, that is what is considered to be "love", that's what I feel with my team, and my family. But what is love?

In reality, people are just shapes, emotions are just things that our brains made up to comprehend others movements, expressions, voices, and body language, and all our lives are essentially just...Things, things we do in our everyday life that are considered "lives" until we take our last breath. 

Out here in open space, with nothing but wars, death and broken people.. I don't have time for a "life".

I don't have time for another family, nor lovers. Sure, I flirt all the time, and with literally everything that shows any interest in me at all, but I'm not looking for a lover. I'm not looking for a family, I already have one that I miss. I don't even believe in love! How can you love, if you don't believe in it?

Sometimes, I just sit in blue and wonder, "what am I doing?". It would be so easy to find another paladin. Blue is the most accepting and trusting of the lions, she could literally find any person to be her paladin! Fuck it, she would even chose Hitler if she had to! 

Of course, blue scolds me for those thoughts. She tells me that I'm the only one who can pilot her, that she chose me for a reason! That's not true.

I could leave. I could find someone who could prove me wrong. Someone who could show me that love is not just a made up thing done by our brains, to make us feel wanted and not alone, that it's actually real! 

No one here would care if I left anyways, no one here would care if I disappeared and died either. No one cares if the "comic relief" dies in the end. 

"He was just there to crack some jokes, and make us smile for the time being. Well, fun while it lasted." 

All these things rush through my head. Breaking, and crushing my mind.They distract me. They broke me.

 

Not good enough.

Love isn't real, and if it is.. Then you don't deserve it.

Your team hates you.

You don't have a life.

You don't have the time for normal things.

Blue doesn't need you, neither does the universe.

No one cares if the comic relief dies.

You are a terrible pilot, you are a terrible sharp shooter. The team doesn't need you.

Just a liability.

 

Who knows why they keep you around.

Cargo pilot

You are not a hero

 

 

" Pidge is our hacker, Shiro is our awesome leader, Hunk's our mechanic, he's also a chef, and just a pretty cool dude to hang out with! And Keith is always doing things like flying into Asteroid fields and black holes and cool junk like that!....." 

What's my thing? Why can't I think of my thing?

That's because you don't have one. 

"Maybe I don't have a thing.." 

 

 

Out here in open space, with nothing but wars, death and broken people.. I don't have time for being alive, so why should I be?


End file.
